ALL HAIL QUEEN B
Five Reasons Why Beyoncé is Some Sort of Superhuman Goddess
On Sunday February 4, 108.4 million people tuned in for a fantastic 15 minute Beyoncé concert (apparently football was also being played). The performance featured explosive special effects, a Destiny’s Child reunion, and a Beyoncé multiplying machine (seriously, at one point there were so many Beyoncé’s I did not know which one was the real one). So to all the haters who thought her performance was terrible, please allow me to give you five reasons why she is the greatest.
1. She birthed a child only a year ago, and looks so flawless she could wear a tiny leather body suit.
Baby weight? Pssh, Beyoncé does not even know what that is. She had Blue Ivy just a year ago, and looks better than she did before she was even pregnant. I have never birthed a child, but I do not think the average American woman can bounce back that quickly.
2. She turned the Superbowl Halftime show into a celebration of Girl Power.
Football a man’s sport? Okay, well Beyoncé didn’t care about that. Instead she brought her all female band, and her all female dancers along with her to execute the most flawless Super Bowl halftime show of all time. She did not have to sing, “Run the World (Girls)” to prove that girls do in fact run the world (or at least run it way better). “All the women who independent throw your hands up,” at Beyoncé, our feminist goddess.
3. Her performance was so powerful that the power went out.
Before closing her performance with “Halo,” Beyoncé wanted to feel the crowd’s energy, and she definitely did. She harnessed it, AND SHE SHUT THE PLACE DOWN. Lights off! Football players sat on the ground like five year olds during story time. It was like the first half of the game was her opener, and then after that she decided that nothing else was allowed to follow her.
4. She does everything, and she’s good at everything.
Acting? Is it a comedy or a drama? Because she can do both. Fashion? She has her own super successful brand ‘House of Dereon.’ Direct? She shot and directed her own documentary “Life is But a Dream.” I do not think that there is anything this woman cannot do.
5. “Any questions?”
Haters are always going to hate, but Beyoncé is not going to take any of their nonsense. Earlier this year, a media frenzy was caused after allegations spread that ‘B’ had lip-synched the National Anthem at President Obama’s second inauguration. She then took matters into her own hands. Instead of releasing a statement or doing anything else that most celebrities would do for damage control, she decided that she would just belt out the National Anthem at a Super Bowl press conference. Afterwards she looked out into the sea of press and asked “Any questions?” All hail Queen B!